June 12, 2012

Day 1000



I decided to post this like my first post, instead on my normal old papers. I’m just wanting to come full circle here.
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9:47 AM
It’s my littlest brothers sixteenth birthday today. I can hear everyone wishing him a happy birthday downstairs as he swings his lanky arms and legs into the kitchen. It’s nearing the end of his awkward years. I’ve been picking at my lips all morning, so much so that they’re bleeding in three different places. I’m very nervous about today. We’ll be celebrating the birth of one thing and the death of another.
This day is probably the most anticlimactic day I have ever experienced in my entire life- I’m not exaggerating one bit. I think back at pivotal moments in my lifetime and I can always remember the butterflies in my stomach, the slight tightness of my throat, and the strain to keep my eyes from shaking- but this day, this event, I don’t feel any of those strangely comforting symptoms. I think that is what most concerns me.
I talked to one of my very best friends about this just a few days ago. She has recently finished writing a book- a great book, and when I told her the reality of my situation she said she could relate completely. She said, “I was most happy and excited about my book right in the middle of it. Toward the end I just didn’t want it to . . . end.” In the middle of my project I was dealing with death in the family, so I wasn’t really feeling a rush of excitement every time I posted a photo, but somewhere in these one thousand days I remember those feelings. Feelings of YES! Now I just feel tired. I started to think it was my age that was causing this, but I don’t think it’s my age anymore, it’s the age of my project. With Little Sound is old, and time to be put away.
But not without a little reflection, right? One must reflect on things before they tuck them back into their hearts. When I look at these photos so much more is triggered than any other viewer. I think this body of work is really intended for just one person, although I feel so very blessed that people are interested in seeing it as well. Really though, isn’t that how it is for any artist?
Let me tell you everything the photos won’t- I choose to be happy.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t feel sad. For the past year and a half my husband and I have been trying to have another baby. It’s time to involve doctors. I haven’t shared this info with anyone outside of my close circle of friends because I have been ashamed to admit that I am upset at not being able to have more children, when I have two beautiful children already. But, I wanted to share this with you, the viewer, so that you knew about a hardship that I could not convey through my work. I say could not, but I really mean will not- I will not convey it through my work. Why? Because, like I said, I was ashamed, but more because I don’t want the sadness to rule over me. This struggle is something I think about every single day, something that I have thought about at least five hundred days out of this project. but I will not let it define me.
This got me to thinking about all the other moments I don’t share with the viewer. If you really think about it I am only showing you on average 1/160 of a second out of my entire day. What about all the other 85,000 seconds. What am I doing? I don’t think I could even tell you if I wanted to. I am just existing I assume.

2:03 PM
I’m fully dressed and just finished lunch. The trees are blowing real hard. They swing differently than the trees in Ohio, more lazily, more like how I feel being here on the island.
My first attempt at a final image was crushed in the wee hours of the morning when Aaron and I woke up to find that it was a rainy, cloudy, day. So much for a sunrise shot and the idea of getting this day over with early. I fell back into bed and refused to think about my nonexistent plan B. The most common question I have received over this whole project is, “Do you know what your image of the day will be?” I never know what the image will be. Most of the time I don’t even know what it’s going to be until I am making it. Rarely do I take a photo and then instantly know it’s the one. But, for today I wanted to have something planned. I wanted to be pregnant and announce it this way, I wanted to be in the ocean at sunrise facing away from you, I wanted to take a photo like any other day, I wanted to say nothing with this photo, and I wanted to say everything with this photo. It’s too much pressure, that’s for sure.
Aaron is blaring Joni Michell’s Blue album downstairs, he knows what I need right now. My old man keeping away my blues . . .
I still don’t have a clue what my photo is going to be today.

12:47 AM (technically the next day)
I guess my first final day was June 10th, but then somehow it changed to the 12th. I had totally forgotten until today. I have never based my “days’ on the actual clock. My days have always run from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed. Some days have gotten so jumbled up I can’t keep them straight; hence the strange numbering found on my blog every once in a while. I attempted to make calendars but lost count, or interest, or something, and never ended up making an official WLS calendar. I believe the largest gap I went without posting anything was ten days. That was a mess, but so was my life. All I remember is being very exhausted. Now I am a different kind of exhausted. A good exhausted, going to bed feeling happy and excited for what is to come. And what is to come? Hopefully sooner or later a baby, a new house, good friends, a book perhaps, trips to new worlds, weddings, nail painting, school days, kicking leaves, smells of the Indian food cooking in our next door neighbors garage, clotheslines, waffles, bike riding, learning to fish, white Christmas trees, growing older and living. Living on and on until He calls me home. At least now I know that I will not be forgotten. I suppose I have left my mark and now it is time to move on. 
There it is, now watch what happens ;)


“heart”
Amy



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I am having trouble pushing the publish button. 

47 comments:

  1. Very inspiring photo series.Congratulation for your projekt.

    It's a real flash about a real life!

    Greeting from Hungary,
    Tibor Zsirai

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  2. I've been following your project. Congrats on finishing the goal! YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION!

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  3. Congrats Amy!
    Every morning, ever since I know about your photos with little sound, the first thing after turning on the comp was to open your blog. Loved the ideas, the vision, the moods and constructions. Hope and wait to see your works in another project soon, because you gave me inspiration, feelings and a smile each day. Guess what, I will miss it. Have a nice day and then... then a cute baby!
    Kisses from Hungary.
    heart*

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  4. I was saddened by the end of your project, but happy for the result, for all the divinely inspiring images that you shared with the world. Thank you for all that and I hope you can achieve everything you want, because you proved to be an enlightened being! Heart ... from Brazil

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  5. When i woke up this morning i thought this is the last day of Amys 1000 days. I sad in a way, strange feeling since i don't know you. But i hope you a book of some of your photos, coz they are amazing in many ways. I don´t know if i follow you and do a 1000 days or if i will end at 366 as my first goal was. You have truly been a inspiration.

    I wish u the best.

    Sahra from Sweden

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  6. que pena que voçe quer finalizar o teu porjeto depois que eu conheçi o seu projeto começei a entender melhoer o que é encontra DEUS nas imagens mais simples da vida .
    bom espero que seja qual for sua decisão ela venha do fundo do teu coração.
    q DEUS te ilumine sempre q JESUS seja teu melhor amigo e que Nossa Senhora das Graças te acompanhe
    bjks

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  7. Amy,

    You started this project fearful motherhood was impacting your growth as an extraordinary artist. You proved yourself wrong. Do not worry about the reverse.

    When you were little, it bothered me (as we ventured out in the world) how people staring would impact you... "Take a picture; it'll last longer!" I think you've spent your life trying to give them and yourself something else to stare at. You most definitely have along with generations to come.

    Not too long ago you advised me on motherhood, choose happy you said. Remember, God's plans are better than ours, as well as his timing too. Maybe a baby will come, maybe not, but because you give praise in your works, he will bless immeasurably.

    I speak from life experience, you know, he has blessed me, our family, the WORLD with you.

    The world can't wait for the next project to begin, can you?

    Love Always,
    A.S.
    ... from Texas!

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  8. Hi Amy,I'm kind of happy and sad today.Happy because I'm happy that you finished your project which I love and is one of my inspirations.Sad because I won't see your work anymore.
    If there's one thing I learnt is that,in life,everything has it own time to happen.So,if you guys didn't have a baby yet,is because it's not the time.BUT,that doesn't mean that it won't happen in the future,Just give it time.Trust me.
    God bless you.
    From your brazilian fan.
    Daniela

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  9. congratulation!!! i have seen all the pictures since the begining! thank you for this, you were a part of my day.

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  10. Hi Amy, Not long ago I met your blog ... must have been in April of that year. But since then I could not go a day without visiting it as many people.

    Your photos inspire me to be happy despite life's difficulties. They show me that every day has its happy time just wanting to see it. Even a small part of it.

    I admire you as a person, feeling strange since I do not know you. I think this is the love of a fan, we love a person even without ever having exchanged a word with her, or know them personally.

    Across the world, this desire to continue being enlightened by God and to continue seeing the happiness that can provide every day!

    God help you to have another baby, and blessed the beautiful family you have!

    I am very sad about the end of the blog and glad you realized this project. I hope like most of his fans to continue posting pictures, at least in other blogs (Best Day Ever and Lets Get Together)

    Hugs ... a fan from Brazil!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Amy,

    a walking live angel in the midst of humanity,
    i will always believe this about you...people do a second take because of your beauty and they see an angel, wings clipped, but and angel all the same.

    thanks for the view point of an angel through the eye of a lens, fixed in time on this project.

    love you and your art and look forward to the next venture you chose to start!

    aunt cindy

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dear Amy,
    I don't speak English, so please apologize me for any mistake I commit.
    I've been 'reading' your blog for a long time. First I've got curiosity, after few days, months, I felt emotion. And emotion is such an important thing to feel today. Emotion to see, to dream, to love. Without emotion, nothing can be done, neither photos. I like to take photos too, and maybe for this reason (but not only) my eyes get full of passion when I saw your blog. I showed it to every person I loved.
    I wish you peace and time. Time to see (always!) to walk, to have deep emotions, to feel the ocean.

    Hugs from Brazil,

    Lívia

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm here to say how much you have been a inspiration for me.
    Like Livia said "I don't speak english" but I have to say something... even I don't know what.
    I really wish you the best because you give us the best of you in a perfect frame of the day... day after day and I really can't imagine how to do the same or near you.
    Congratulations.
    For me, you're art.

    All the best for you.

    Richard
    (Brazil)

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  14. Dear Amy,
    congratulations on the project! I'm from Brazil and his work is widely spoken here. Do you have a facebook page? Fernando, Brazil.

    ReplyDelete
  15. From the island of Tenerife, God bless you and congratulations on your 1000 days and 1000 pictures full of passion.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Dear Amy,
    I once saw your blog at a Brazilian website, as many of us Brazilians did, and I’ve been visiting WLS ever since. At the beginning I was disappointed not having discovered you and WLS earlier, but then I just started enjoying each new photo. Now I am feeling something is missing again. Now I can’t just navigate through the blog and visit previous photos.
    As others have done, I shared WLS link with each and every one of my friends and family. I only wanted you to see that you certainly have one more Brazilian fan, and that every one of us you miss WLS, even though your other blogs are still running. WLS was one of the most inspiring moments of the day, when we could forget work, studies, problems, and enjoy a great photo.
    Your work definitely inspires people.
    Yours,
    Vinícius.

    ReplyDelete
  17. The end of a journey, but te beginning for another. I admire you determination to finish your project, after 1000 post. All we are learning of this and from yo view of the world, are the best legacy. Best regards for you, from Chile.

    Claudio

    p.s. forgive my lack in writing in english...

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  18. Here I am to say you that your photos are/were a inspiration for me.
    Thank you for sharing with us theese great treasures.

    Filipi Dias, 22yo
    Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

    ReplyDelete
  19. Querida Amy, obrigada por suas fotos! Você e suas fotos estão em meu Blog. Novos projetos virão! O tempo não para, a vida não para. Beijo em seu coração, porque o click de uma foto não vem dos olhos e sim do coração. Magali - Brasil.

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  20. And so, one more of so many fans from Brazil :D This last picture is amazing, i can see it like the cover of your book. I wish you love, babies, a wonderful life. Hope to see you soon!

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  21. Great job. Thank you for your beautiful eyes that I borrowed :)

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  22. Beautiful...
    Good Luck !!!
    fan from Brazil !!!:0)
    Amanda Campos

    ReplyDelete
  23. You have a beautiful, beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing it with us.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Obrigada por ter mostrado a sua linda visão! Te deseja toda a felicidade, você a merece!

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  25. Amy,
    Thank you so much for such an amazing work.
    Please,keep doing that extraordinary artwork,because you certainly are an inspiration to all of us.May God Bless you and your beautiful family,and remember,there is a time to every purpose under Heaven.
    Thank you very much,and best wishes from Brasil.

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  26. Amy, thanks for sharing your beautiful words.

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  27. Amy, how everyone said you are an inspiration for all of us. I'm little sad 'bout the end of your project, but you are right, is time to move on, thank you so much, you had a beautiful work here, and I wish all the best for you, all the happiness this world can give, all the beautiful things we have in this life. You are an example. From a brazilian fan.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Amy, thanks for sharing your beautiful words.

    ReplyDelete
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