With Little Sound

January 11, 2010

Paying my dues

This entry is premeditated only because I know I will not want to write tomorrow. Not that I’m doing anything special tomorrow, just that, if all goes according to plan, I will be short quite a bit of money, with nothing to show for it, and that will in turn, bum me out enough to the point of not writing about it, or anything for that matter, so I’m getting it down now, I guess because I know myself too well.

Law is good . . . ? Law is needed, that is true. Exceptions can be made, rules can be bent, and is there anything wrong with taking advantage of the time or our leaders? I might not have wanted them, but there they are, and shouldn’t I as a citizen be able to take what I can from them? I feel a pull at my morals when I say things like this; maybe if comes from how I was raised, but the fact remains that there is truthfully nothing wrong with taking what someone is giving you, when they deem you worthy, and if it’s within the law.

Christmas was a huge success, considering how poor we are. I wonder all the time if people think we’re really poor or not. The other day Aaron told me about someone who assumed we were “rich” because of the part of town we lived in. One of my biggest annoyances is people assuming you’re wealthy. I have experienced this my entire life, yet have never felt wealthy in all my memory. This says nothing about my parents or my husbands actual wealth, just that my mentality was, “I am not rich” so that’s how I’ve perceived my life thus far.

“Oooo, I hate money!” – Winona Ryder as Joe March in Little Women

“heart”

Amy

Day 120

December 12, 2009

you have to build up your core . . .

I knew this day was coming, and back around day 63 or so I was ready to start typing, but now that it’s here, again I don’t have much to say . . .

I will never forget this time when one of my high school friends and I were driving to a music store and we were complaining about how we both went blank as soon as we stepped foot into the store. Regardless of how long and hard we thought about what we wanted to purchase, the mere freedom and vast choices lured us away from premeditated lists and decisions. That’s how I feel every time I allow myself to “speak” on this blog.

My mother, (hi mom!) thinks I should start promoting my work in order to bring albino awareness. Me being a shy person, and 95% of the time forgetting that I am albino, has made this a hard topic for me to think about. She did have a great idea though of raising money in order to send it over to those albino people in Africa who are currently fighting for equal rights (i.e. to not be killed for their body parts). It’s strange to think that people like me are being killed and dismembered somewhere, and I’m not. I’m here in America, eating chocolate cake, and watching Christmas movies . . .

Sometimes I feel real lame, other times content, but most of the time I feel like I was meant to do something, but I am constantly being reminded of my limits, and I’m not strong enough yet to climb those walls.

Maybe this project will help

“heart”

Amy